Feb 14

Feb 14 Valentine’s Day - Challenging Your Personal Algorithm to Find Love

One day, about 7 years ago, I asked myself,

“What if your own algorithm for finding a mate is so off that you will never find that person?”

2012 was the year dating apps were released. With Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel, then Bumble in 2014 and The League to follow. Employing the help of an algorithm had everyone talking about the new way to "find love", as Chris Harrison would say.

That's when I questioned myself.

An algorithm can be thought of as a recipe with exact steps to create something, solve a problem, or reach a goal. Would you use a recipe over and over again that always resulted in a meal you didn’t enjoy?

When most of us decide to go on a date with someone, it's usually because there is some sort of an initial attraction. We probably aren't going to go on a date with someone we absolutely can't see ourselves with. But what if we did? Now, this gets tricky. I'm not at all saying you should lead on a guy you don't like. However, I believe that at times, we limit ourselves or the potential of who we could be with by not giving someone who is different a chance.

Sometimes, one's method or approach to dating should be challenged. For example, if the cute surfer bro hasn't worked out for you for the 10th time, maybe consider the kind of guy you're choosing (disclaimer: I know plenty of cute surfer "bros" that have great jobs and love their family).

Just as you might take a risk at your job, why not step out and take a risk in dating someone you might not gravitate toward initially?

The thing with dating is that there really is no formula. What may work for one person, just may not work for you.

Pay attention to your patterns. Start refining your dating code.

There will always be some make or breaks, but if you've ever said an absolute statement like, "I will never date __", maybe ask yourself why. Maybe it's a good reason. Or, maybe you'll find that in those reasons, you are limiting yourself from something that could potentially be the rhythm you're missing.